don't know why there's no sun up in the sky

you all know about my serious fear of lightning which began when i was in college. before that, i would pretty much run around in it, etc. i recall going out during a hailstorm with a cookie sheet over my head. one time, there was a really BAD storm -- i'll never forget it -- my mom was alive and working at a place across the street from our house, conveniently enough, and i was running around outside, and i heard the phone ringing in the house, and i ran inside the get the phone and oddly enough, it was her telling me to get the hell in the house and stay there.

this was before cell phones, obviously. though even if they WERE out then, i wouldn't've had one. we barely went to mcdonald's. the big deal was pizza on friday night, and that was only for about five years.

i remember that day a little boy on his bike got electrocuted by a live wire in a puddle. a guy tried to save him, and he got electrocuted too. it was a bad storm. i have never forgotten how tragic that was.

and when i was a freshman a guy got killed by lightning in the woods next to school. and that really affected me. at that time, my college was really small, so everyone pretty much knew everyone. it was the saddest thing ever. there were more details to it but i don't feel like sharing them right now.

so, pretty much since then i've been totally phobic. the past few years, i've been functional with it if not entirely accepting -- i don't hide under the bed anymore, for example (and i couldn't anyway, because we have crap under all the beds). but they still give me pause, i don't like driving in storms, and i especially don't like running between my car and wherever else during storms. they give me panic.

so this morning there was a giant storm which came right through at school time. so little kids were out walking around in it. p's school conveniently discontinued aftercare early last week, and then started on halfdays, so we've been scrambling to cover her pick up times (s is taking most of the brunt of this). but this morning was my day. what it means is that i can't drop her off at 7 and get to work by 8 and leave at 4 to pick her up. it means i have to drop her off at 8:10 and get in at 9 and work till 5:30, which is a big adjustment. i don't like time in the morning: i'm a morning person and don't need extra time. but i do like it in the evening.

anyway, here's a time lapse video of the storm, taken downtown today.

so i DROVE in this. i drove p to school. the lightning by the time i got there was continuous. she is a slowpoke, so i said to her, if there's one time in your life you must move fast, let it be now. we rushed in. i kissed her fifty times goodbye.
then i had to run back to my car a block, then drive away. i nearly got in an accident on my way home pulling out of the spot, because someone came up in my blindspot and didn't stop.

i was just going to drive to work but i saw this bolt of lightning hit like a mile away and this big silvery streak from heaven to ground just pulsed for like ten seconds. i said, "oh, shit," drove home, and waited it out (after feeling sorry for the crossing guards, the schoolkids, and myself again).

i had to run from my car to the door in continuous lightning once more.

but i waited. i didn't want to have a tree fall on me -- i pass 60,000,000 trees on my circuitous route to work in the country. and it was only twenty minutes more, and it didn't clear up but it least the lightning stopped.

it was a bit of behavior mod but i still hate lightning.