so, i've been doing a "kindness experiment" in the world when i'm on the bike and even at other times. i smile at EVERYONE. no matter how dour or decrepit or murderous- looking, i smile at them. i do a close-mouthed smile, it's more polite, flashing the whole teeth thing is very chimpanzee in a way and reserved for people with whom you make an actual connection.
(over the years, many men have misinterpreted my regular toothsome smile as if it were indicating that i had something to sell -- i don't know where they got that idea. i don't keep fruit or contraband watches secreted away in my bra, though they could probably fit in there, along with the family of feisty weasels, the pepperidge farm crumbs and my w-2 from '94.)
anyway, i realized that when i'm down the shore i just like the friendliness and this city is like the antithesis of friendly, so i've decided to become a one-woman advocate for kum-buy-yah.
::pause for subtle campfire guitar strumming::
i've decided basically also that i'm a miserable bitch, and i add to the quality of my life by smiling i.e. what you put out there is what you get back.
it's interesting.
people are so leery though. you need to learn to take the rejection of Those Who Are Too Cool to Smile Back.
but more people smile than not. is it politeness? relief that humankind can actually be courteous? i find it so fascinating from an aquarian perspective. and, i realized, when you appear friendly, people ask you crap constantly. two people on the trail today said to me, seriously, identical question: "does this go around in a circle?"
i had assumed everyone in there was totally too cool for school and knew every inch of the trail.
no, i said, it's a straight line, so turn back if you think you're going the wrong way, unless you fancy a really long stroll.
last night a guy on the dancefloor (drunk? criminally insane? recently paroled? all three?) said, "how do you make that move?"
"i don't know what i'm doing," i shouted over the michael jackson tribute, "what move?"
i was really zoned out. if i had been feeling sassy i would've pointed out that i was dancing like a zombie because thriller was on, but i wasn't particularly clever. i was just dancing.
"that move," he said.
"i don't know," i said. "it's my 'me' time. i just feel the music."
and i do. the beat goes through the floor, which transfers up through my body, and though i probably resemble elaine benes more than anyone, it's not conscious, i just do whatever the music says to do.
"it's probably because of your big hips," he said.
someone's stupid, lord, kum-buy-yah.
i smiled and danced away.
3 comments:
Big hips? Clearly the moron who said this was in need of glasses.
I applaud The Smile, you will be surprised how pleasant some folks can be when you disarm them with a grin.
Say, you might be the Mary Richards of Philly!
"Who can turn the world on with her smile, who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile..."
I can see you know tossing your hat in the air in the middle of Broad Street.
Darling Rose I would have cold cocked the SOB for a crack like that, big hips indeed! And as for Pax's suggestion dear you could get away with a gesture like that, Pax not so much, years ago I happened to be a buystander when he tried the very same move (actually it's how we met)well you know how forgetful he is, he tossed his hat neglecting to remove his hair as well as all the change he'd collected and the result was the loss of several days wages, a slightly soiled piece and two major lawsuits for the concussions it caused in it's decent. I believe it took dear Whatshisname 3 weeks to get him out of Bellvue.
You'd love Canada dear, everyone goes around like grining idiots but I think it's because most Canadians are simple minded and possibly a touch retarded (inbreeding will do that). I rarely smile except when I'm on US soil and than you can bet it's genuine.
Lord, I would have cold-cocked him too! How rude!
Continue smiling, Rose, and the eventual rewards will be worth it.
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